Hindu wedding (vivah
or shādī in Hindi, panigrahana in Sanskrit,
other terms are also used) ceremonies are traditionally conducted in
Sanskrit, the language in which most holy Hindu ceremonies are conducted. They have many rituals that have
evolved since traditional times and differ in many ways from the modern
western wedding ceremony and also among the regions and caste. The
Hindus attach a lot of importance to weddings and the ceremonies are
very colourful and extend for several days. By the Hindu Marriage Act of
1955 passed by the Union Parliament of India, for all legal purposes,
all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Budhhists and Jains are
considered as Hindus for the sake of the Hindu marriage Act—and can
hence intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry
with a non-Hindu employing any ceremony provided certain legal
conditions are fulfilled.
The pre-wedding ceremonies include engagement
(involving vagdana or oral agreement and lagna-patra written
declaration), and arrival of the marriage party at the brides residence,
often in the form of a marriage procession. The post-marriage ceremonies
involve welcoming the bride to her new home.
An important thing to note is that despite the fact
that the modern Hinduism is based on the puja form
of the worship of devas as enshrined in the Puranas, a Hindu
marriage ceremony is essentially a Vedic yajña (a fire-sacrifice), in
which the Aryan deities are invoked in the archaic Indo-Aryan style. The
primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred
Fire) Agni, and by law and by tradition, no Hindu marriage is
deemed complete unless in the presence of the Sacred Fire, seven
encirclements have been made around it by the bride and the groom
together.
Important Marriage ceremonies
The Hindu marriage ceremonies vary in different
regions and according to family traditions. The major ceremonies are the
following.
Invoking Lord Ganesh
Evoking the holy fire (Agni Puja)
Kanyadhan - Giving away the bride to the groom
Tying of holy necklace (Mangalsutra)
The Seven Holy Steps, circling the fire
Bride steps on the stone (Shilarohana)
Many of the ceremonies involve the pandit (priest) chanting mantras
of various prayers and blessings for the couple.
Though Mangalya dharanam (tying of the holy mangalsutra is considered
to be the important part of the marriage, the wedding is considered
complete only after Saptapadhi. The hindu marriage ceremony consists of
these major rituals as described below but every part of India have some
variations in all the ceremonies. These are the main ceremonies but the
explanation of these rituals here is typically North Indian or Punjabi
style and are not the same for all Hindu marriages.
Saptapadi
The bridegroom gets up from his seat holding his
bride's right hand. He then goes around the Holy Fire(Agni) from
the right side, by lifting his bride's right feet at each step. This is
done for seven steps. With each step, he recites a mantra addressed to
bride with the following meaning.
Let Lord Maha Vishnu follow each one of your steps for
the following specific purposes.
To give you unlimited food.
To give you excellent health and energy.
To make you perform your vrithas (rituals) as ordained
in Vedas, during your life time.
To give you happiness in life.
To make your cows and good animals to grow in strength
and in numbers.
To make all the seasons be beneficial to you.
To make the homams (sacrifices to be done in Holy
Fire) to be performed by you in your life as ordained in Vedas,
successful and free from hindrances.
The idea behind this is to pray to Lord Vishnu, the
protector of life, for his blessings in marital life.
The groom then recites a mantra to convey the
following meaning:
After crossing seven steps with me thus, you should
become my friend. I too have become your friend now. I will never
discord this friendship and you should not also do that. Let us be
together always. Let us resolve to do things in life in the same manner
and tread the same path. Let us lead a life by liking and loving each
other, having good heart and thoughts, and enjoying the food and our
strong points together. Let us have undivided opinions. We will perform
the vrithas united. Let us have same and joint desires. I will be Sama
(one of the vedas); you will be Rig (another Veda). Let me be the
Heaven; you be the Earth. Let me be the Shukla (Moon) and you be its
wearer. Let me be the mind and you its spokesman (Vak). With these
qualities, you be my follower. You the sweet tongued, come to me to get
good male children and wealth.
This is the short version of the saptapadi, though
"Yalgnavakya Smrithi" gives a much longer version of actual
exchange of vows between the groom and the bride.
Barni Bandhwana
Approximately 15 days prior to the actual wedding, on
an auspicious day, the Panditji (priest) will perform a puja to Lord
Ganesh (the remover of obstacles). During this puja, a piece of mauli
(thread) is tied to the hands of the groom, and his parents. This puja
is done to make a humble request to Lord Ganesh that the wedding happen
without any problems. After that day, the family performs a puja to Lord
Ganesh every day until after the wedding is complete.
Byaha Hath
These are ritualistic ceremonies signifying the
cleansing of one's mind, body and soul before embarking on the path of
marriage. This daytime ceremony prepares both of them for the nuptials.
'Uptan' is a paste made from sandalwood, turmeric and rose water and is
applied by seven married female members of the families, to the faces,
hands and feet of the bride and groom. After this ceremony the bride and
the groom are barred from stepping outdoors until after the wedding
ceremony.
Mudda-Tikka
On an auspicious day, decided by an astrologer, the
bride’s family call on the groom, taking with them, a platter filled
with rice, jiggery, dry fruits, sweetmeats, and sometimes a garland for
the 'tikka'. They also carry gifts for the groom, which may include
clothes and other items.
Bari
The bride is considered to be a form of the goddess of
wealth (Goddess Laxmi). As such, she always wears jewelry and is
decorated with nice clothes. At this time, the groom’s parents gift
the bride jewelry with this in mind.
Barna
The groom is considered to be a form of Lord Vishnu.
As such, the parents of the bride come to the groom’s house.
The parents of the bride go to the groom’s house and
perform a puja to Lord Ganesh. Then, considering the groom as a form of
Lord Vishnu, they perform the puja of the groom’s feet. This is
followed by gifting the groom clothes and tying a headdress on the
groom.
Mayara
The mayara is an important ceremony, common to both
the bride and the groom’s families. This ceremony is performed by the
maternal uncle of the groom/bride, who, along with his wife and family,
arrives with much fanfare, and is received by the bride/groom’s mother
with the traditional welcome. The clothes that the uncle gives are than
worn by the family during the wedding.
Sangeet Sandhya
The sangeet sandhya is an evening of musical
entertainment. The groom’s family puts on a show for the groom and
bride. Included as part of this event is an introduction of all the
family members for the bride.
Tilak Ceremony
Tilak is a mark of auspiciousness. It is put on the
forehead using Kumkum, a red turmeric powder. The male members of the
bride's family, like her father, brother, uncles place a tilak on the
forehead of the groom.
Mehendi Lagwana
Another name for “Vivaah” is “haath ppila karna”
or simply translated, making hands yellow. Mehendi (henna) is applied to
the bride’s hands and feet. In the right hand, a round spot is left
open for Hathlewa.
Biradh Morcha
The groom’s family’s elder members go to the bride’s
house. There Lord Krishna’s Deity is decorated and aarti is performed.
This is ended by some hymns.
Barat Nikasi
The groom leaves for the wedding venue riding a
decorated horse. This is a very colorful and grand ceremony. The groom
is dressed in a sherwani (long jacket) and 'churidars' (fitted
trousers). On his head he wears a 'safa' (turban) with a 'kalgi'
(brooch) pinned onto it.
Before he departs all his relatives apply the
ceremonial 'tilak' on his forehead. The baraat is headed by the dancing
of the congregated folks. Accompanied by the rhythm of the north Indian
dholak the baraat finally reaches the place of the wedding.
Upon arriving at the venue of the wedding, the groom
is welcomed by a welcome song. This is called “talota.” Then the
groom knocks on the door with his sword and enters.
Ver Mala
The groom is led to a small stage where he is “attacked”
by the bride with flowers. A close family member of the groom defends
him with a shield. The bride does this while circling the groom four
times. Following this, the groom and bride exchange garlands (these are
the “ver mala”) signifying their acceptance of each other as husband
and wife. Than, the groom’s mother-in-law measures the groom’s
chest, and pokes and prods him to make sure he is tough enough to defend
her daughter. She than puts kajal on the groom to ward off evil spirits.
This is followed by aarti.
Aarti
The 'baraatis' (groom's party) are received by the
bride's family and at the entrance to the wedding venue. The bride's
mother welcomes the groom by performing the 'aarti' (traditional Indian
welcome ritual with a lamp or 'diya' placed on a platter or 'thali') to
welcome her son-in-law and placing a tilak on his forehead.
Hathlewa
After being led to the wedding mandup, the bride and
groom have their hands tied together. The Panditji does a puja to Lord
Ganesh and than puts a coin & mehendi on the groom’s right hand
where the round empty spot is (where no mehendi was put) and ties his
hand with the brides. This puja is done schedule in advance based on an
auspicious time & date.
Havan
The ritual connotes the actual marriage, for the very
meaning of the word "vivaah" is-marriage. The priest ties the
end of the groom's dhoti or the kurta; whichever he is wearing, with
that of the bride's saree, the knot signifying the sacred wedlock. The
groom and the bride then circle the holy fire seven times, making seven
promises to be fulfilled in the married life, after which they are
considered to be 'married' to each other. This ritual is called "phere".
Saat Phere (Wedding Vows)
1. With the first step, the couple invokes the gods
for plenty of pure and nourishing food. "With God as our guide, let
us take the first step to live with honour and respect. Let us walk
together so we get food," the couple prays.
2. With the second step, the couple prays to the Gods
to give them the mental, physical and spiritual strength to lead a
healthy life. "Let us be happy and enjoy life. Let us walk together
so we grow together in strength," they pray.
3. The third step is for preserving wealth and
prosperity in life. The chant at this stage means, "let us share
joys and pains together. Let us walk together so we get wealth."
4. With the fourth step, the bride and groom invoke
the gods for attainment of happiness and harmony by mutual love and
trust in all walks of life. "Let us not forget parents and elders.
Let us walk together so we get happiness by sharing our joys and
sorrows," they say.
5. With the fifth step, they pray for the welfare of
all living beings in the Universe and pray for virtuous, noble and
heroic children." Let us observe all acts of charity. Let us walk
together so we have family," the mantras say.
6. With the sixth step, they ask the gods to give them
a long, joyous life and togetherness forever. "Let us live a long
and peaceful life. Let us walk together so we have joy," the couple
prays.
7. With the seventh, and last, step, the couple prays
for understanding, companionship, loyalty and unity. "Let us be
friends with love and sacrifice. Let us walk together so we have
friendship," the holy chants signify.
8. After the seventh step, the groom says to the
bride: "With seven steps we have become friends. Let me reach your
friendship. Let me not be severed from your friendship. Let your
friendship not be severed from me."
Only after the 7 steps, are the couple pronounced husband and wife.
Kanya Daan
Kana Danam is performed by the father of the bride in
presence of a large gathering that is invited to witness the wedding.
The father pours out a libation of sacred water
symbolizing the giving away of the daughter to the bride groom. The
groom recites Vedic hymns to Kama, the God of love, for pure love and
blessings.
As a condition for offering his daughter for marriage,
the father of the bride requests a promise from the groom for assisting
the bride in realizing the three ends : dharma, artha, and kama. The
groom makes the promise by repeating three times that he will not fail
the bride in realizing dharma, artha and kama. Vidaai:
This is considered to be the most emotional ritual,
when the bride leaves her parents' home and makes her way to her
husband's. Family and friends, who also shower her with blessings and
gifts, give her a tearful farewell. The male members of the bride's
family bid farewell to the groom by applying the traditional 'tilak'
(vermilion) on his forehead and shower him with gifts. The couple leaves
in a decorated car.
Baasi-Jawari
This event takes place the day after the wedding. The
groom along with some friends and family (but not parents or people
senior to him in relation) go to his father-in-law’s house where they
eat lunch. During this time, the sisters of the bride will steal the
groom’s shoes and demand a ransom. The groom’s company are
responsible for preventing this from happening.
After this, the bride accompanies the groom back to
the groom’s house.
Dwar-Rokai
After leaving the groom’s father-in-law’s house,
the couple come home. They are stopped at the entrance of the house by
either the groom’s sister or his father’s sister. There, in an
earthen vessel, the sister/aunt uses a mixture of salt and water to ward
off evil spirits from the groom. After this, the pot is thrown on the
ground and destroyed. After this, the couple enter the house.
Griha Pravesh
When the bride arrives at her new home, her
mother-in-law, who welcomes her with the traditional 'Aarti’.. At the
entrance, she puts her right foot onto a tray of vermilion powder mixed in water or milk, symbolizing the arrival of good
fortune and purity. With both her feet now covered in the red powder
paste, she kicks over a vessel filled with rice and coins to denote the
arrival of fertility and wealth in her marital home.
Mooh Dikhai
The family now indulges in a series of games and
post-wedding rituals, amidst much laughter to make the new member feel
comfortable. One such ritual is the Mooh Dikhai. Literally translated,
Mooh Dikhai means 'show your face', but this is a ritual, which helps to
introduce the newly wed to members of her husband's family! Each member
of the groom's family comes in turn to make an acquaintance with the new
bride.
Modern Hindu weddings
Modern Hindu weddings are often much shorter and do
not involve all of the rituals of the traditional ceremony which
sometimes were for 5 days. Instead certain ceremonies are picked by the
families of the bride and the groom, depending on their family
tradition, caste, jati etc. Hence the ceremonies vary among the
various ethnic groups that practice Hinduism. The wedding is
normally conducted under a mandap, a canopy traditionally with
four pillars, and an important component of the ceremony is the sacred
fire (Agni) that is witness to the ceremony.
