Anand Karaj is the name of the Sikh Marriage ceremony, meaning
"Blissful Union" or "Joyful Union," which was
introduced by Guru Amar Das. The four Lavan (marriage hymns which take
place during the marriage ceremony) were composed by his successor, Guru
Ram Das. It was originally legalized in India through the passage of the
Anand Marriage Act 1909 but is now governed by the Sikh Reht Maryada
(Sikh code of conduct and conventions) which was issued by the Shiromani
Gurdwara Prabandhak Committee. It dictates that only those who follow
the Sikh religion may marry under the ceremony, therefore, Sikhs cannot
marry persons professing to other religions under it. It also states
that child marriage is invalid and that no account should be taken of
the prospective spouse's caste. However, in practice, many Sikhs take
preference in people from their caste.
The Anand Karaj usually takes place at a Gurdwara, although not
necessarily so; the marriage may also be conducted at the bride's
residence or any other place where the Guru Granth Sahib has been
installed. If the marriage takes place somewhere other than a Gurdwara,
the place must be suitable and the Guru Granth Sahib must be installed
following the proper procedure. Any Amritdhari (man or woman who is a
strict adherent of Sikhism) may perform the marriage ceremony.
Preparations prior to marriage
Due to the social importance accorded to parents in the Punjab, Sikh
marriages will usually, although not necessarily, be arranged by the
parents of the couple. In some cases, marriages are arranged without the
couple actually meeting; the arrangement takes place on the faith of the
parents' choices. However, this practice is largely exclusive to the
villages of the Punjab and it is now customary that the individuals
actually meet and give their consent to the marriage. The marriage may
also be arranged by intermediaries such as relatives or friends. It is
sometimes considered acceptable, especially in the West, for the couple
to choose their own partners, however, the consent of the parents is
still deemed to be necessary.
The Engagement
Formal engagements are not deemed necessary, however, if the parties
so wish, the engagement will take place at the groom's residence. The
relations of the bride will go to the groom's residence, taking with
them a Kirpan (Sikh sword which is part of the five Ks and some
currency, both of which will be handed to the groom in the presence of
the Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh holy book). The parents of the groom will
present the bride with a dress and a gold ornament. In the West, it is
now customary to present the bride with a wedding ring. It is argued by
some that it is more in step with Sikhism if the ceremony takes place at
a Gurdwara (Sikh temple). Either way, the effect will a binding
engagement of the couple.
The Wedding day
The wedding usually begins in the morning with the two sides meeting
in a ceremony called "Milni". The word "Milni"
literally means meeting, and typically involves exchange of gifts
(usually blankets) by the father and maternal uncle of the bride and
the groom. During the Milni, the family and friends of the bride and
groom will assemble in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib. An "Ardas"
(prayer) called Asa di Var is read. When the Milni is complete,
the parties retire for tea and other refreshments.
The marriage ceremony will then begin with the congregation gathering
in front of the Guru Granth Sahib. The male takes his seat in front of
the Holy Book and shortly afterwards, the bride will take her place on
his left. The person presiding over the proceedings will first ascertain
that both parties are Sikhs and that they both unequivocally agree to
the marriage. S/he will then ask the bride, groom and their parents/
guardians to stand whilst the rest of the congregation remain seated and
will then initiate an Ardas seeking the blessings of Waheguru (the great
giver of knowledge) and begging Waheguru's grace on the couple. It
entails the following passages:
As Gurmukh, I have met Him, with intuitive ease; the Lord seems so
sweet to my mind and body.
The Lord seems so sweet; I am pleasing to my God. Night and day, I
lovingly focus my consciousness on the Lord.
I have obtained my Lord and Master, the fruit of my mind's desires.
The Lord's Name resounds and resonates.
Page 774 of the Guru Granth Sahib.
This prayer publicly indicates the consent of the couple and their
parents to the marriage. When this prayer has been said, the parties
return to their seats as another short hymn is read. The officiant will
then give a speech mainly directed at the couple explaining how the Sikh
Gurus held marriage in high regard and how they taught that marriage is
the highest and most ideal purpose to fuse two souls into a single
spiritually inseparable one. High importance is also placed to the
equality of the couple as this allows them to achieve the basic aims of
life together and attain a deeper spiritual bond.
During the Anand Karaj, the four lavan (hymns composed by Guru Ram
Das (the fourth Guru) in the Suhi Raag section of the Guru Granth Sahib
are sung. They condition the love between husband and wife as the love
between the human soul and the Almighty. Under these, the bridegroom and
the bride vow to be faithful to each other in the presence of the Guru
Granth Sahib and the congregation. They accept the obligations of
marriage by bowing before the Guru Granth Sahib.
During the main ceremony, the end of the cloth which is worn by the
bridegroom is placed into the hands of the bride by her father/
guardian. The four lavan are read by the person who is performing the
marriage ceremony. After the first lavan has been read, the bridegroom
will lead the bride round the Guru Granth Sahib whilst ragis (religious
musicians) sing the same hymns. They will both sit down after having
taken one trip around the Guru Granth Sahib. This step will be repeated
until all four lavans have been read.
When the four lavans are complete, the hymn of Anand Sahib is read by
the ragis. There is also an ardas, which marks the completion of the
ceremony. A Holy "Vaak," which is a random reading of the of a
hymn in the Guru Granth Sahib is read out whilst Krah Parsad (Holy food)
is distributed to the whole congregation.
Attending a Sikh Wedding
If you are invited to a Sikh wedding, don't panic, below is a brief
guide to what to expect and what to wear:
The Wedding Day Protocol
1. Departure of Barat: Barat is the term used to describe the
party from the Grooms side. The Barat will leave from the Groom's house
to the Gurdwara, usually near the Bride's house, where the wedding will
take place. The arrangements for the rest of the day are normally made
entirely by the Bride's family. However, some of this is now changing.
2. Reception of Barat: The Groom's party is
"received" by the Bride's party at the Gurdwara.
3. Milnea: (means "Introductions") The Ardas will be
performed by the priest (Giani) followed by the formal introductions of
the main male players in the families.
4. Tea: Tea with savories and sweets will be served and are
normally taken standing at tables. Chairs are seldom provided.
5. Main Wedding Ceremony (Anand Karaj) This is the formal part
of the ceremony and always takes place in a Gurdwara. Please observe the
rules applicable which are described at Visiting a Gurdwara. Also
described here is the clothing to be worn. Please note that as you will
be required to sit on the carpeted floor, suitable clothing should be
worn.
a. Kirtan - The singing of the
Holy Hymns - Gurbani.
b. Ardas- Key People (Bride, groom, both parents of bride and
groom) will stand straight with folded hands and join in this prayer.
c. Laava - The Bride and Groom will walk in tow around the
SGGS four times at the set intervals.
d. Ardas - All the congregation will stand and join in the
ardas followed by Hukamnama.
e. Sagaan - The parents of Bride and Groom followed by key
people and the congregation will bless the newly wedded and give gifts
or money and have photos taken.
f. Kara Parshad - "Blessed "Sweet pudding" is
served.
6. Lunch: Previously this used to be Langar at the Gurdwara
but now it is lunch at a commercial venue. When held in a commercial
venue, it is like a normal "dinner & dance" type of event.
Loud "Bhangra" music is played and alcohol and meat may be
served!
7. Departure of Doli: The bride departs from her parent's
house (a very sad and touching occasion). In some cases, she changes
into new clothes that are presented to her by the groom's family before
departing.
8. Reception: (Optional) This may be held on the same day or
another day and is an evening "dinner and dance" type
occasion, sometimes not too formal (please check with the party) where
only invited guests from both families can attend.
